Labor Perks.

Hello Faithful Perks Followers!

To say that the last few days have been a whirlwind would be the understatment of the century.  I can not tell you how incredibly amazing it has been to finally welcome our son, Henry out of the womb and into the world.  He's perfect, of course.  It's safe to say that Daddy Perks and I are in love.  We could literally sit and watch our little monkey man all day long and not get bored.  Suddenly things like TV and the computer don't seem half as entertaining as watching our sweet baby boy.

That being said...it's taken me a few days to get back to the blogging world.  It's crazy to think that one week ago I had just given birth to the little man you all have been reading about for all these months.  As promised-here's the story of how Baby Perks made his grand debut into the world...I've decided to tell the story in timeline format:

Sunday, August 30th, 2009:

10 AM...Mommy & Daddy Perks enjoy a lovely pancake breakfast and ponder how they will spend their last baby-less Sunday.  (Little do they know that this will also be their last baby-less day period.)

11 AM...Mommy Perks is feeling desperate as her little man completes his 41st week of gestation (AKA one FULL week overdue) and has the bright idea to go for a leisurely 2 mile walk/jog.  Desperate times call for desperate measures and she believes that perhaps she can "run" Henry out of her uterus?  Daddy Perks is slightly annoyed/concerned by his wife's desperation to not be pregnant anymore but agrees to accompany her on her big-belly running adventure.  The Perks proceed to make a complete scene running around their suburban neighborhood, 10 month pregnant belly covered in spandex, generating all sorts of judgy looks from people driving by who think to themselves... "is that man actually making/letting his VERY pregnant wife hobble around town in her condition?"

12 PM...Upon return from morning jog, Mommy Perks decides to take a shower and shave (JUST in case this is the big day) and then lays down to take a nap.

12:30 PM...While she lies in bed, Mommy Perks begins to feel some contraction-like activity in her belly, but thinks she must be over-analyzing it and tries to read her book to distract herself.  Each time she has a contraction she thinks, "oh this will probably be the only one so I'm not going to keep track of them."

1:30 PM...Mommy Perks continues to have these "teaser contractions" and yells down to Daddy Perks that perhaps they should start writing them down-just in case.

1:30-4:00 PM...Contractions continue to occur between 5 and 8 minutes apart.  Daddy Perks suggests they call the doctor, but Mommy Perks is resistant because she does NOT want to be told to go the hospital where they might tell her she's not far enough along and that she needs to go home.  Eventually they call, and the doctor advises them to go to the hospital.

5 PM...The Perks arrive at the hospital but leave all their bags in the car, so as not to jinx their chances of being admitted.

5:30-6:30 PM...Mommy Perks is checked by a nurse, finds out that she is 3 cm dialated and her contractions are currently 4-5 minutes apart.  The doctor is called, and it is confirmed that the Perks will in fact be admitted to the hospital to have a baby.  A few happy tears are shed and they are moved into their labor and delivery room.  Mommy Perks immediately makes it VERY clear that she would like an epidural post haste and the nurse puts in the order to anesthesiology.

7 PM...The Perks begin to call their family/close friends to say the wait for Henry's arrival is FINALLY over...

7:30 PM...Anesthesiologist arrives and proceeds to begin epidural procedure.  Mommy Perks is able to bury her needle phobia long enough to receive god's greatest gift to women and upon completion of said procedure, a warm tingly feeling surges throughout Mommy Perks' body.  She can no longer feel contractions (7 hours of feeling contractions was plenty) and has reached her "happy place."

8-10 pm...Several friends and family visit in excitement that the big day has finally arrived...Mommy Perks continues to smile in delight that she is having contractions which she can not feel at all.

10 PM...Nurse checks Mommy Perks' cervix again-4 CM dialated.  She also  informs Mommy Perks that a resident will be in soon to break her water which should move labor along.

12 AM...STILL waiting for resident...Meanwhile Mommy Perks is given another dosage of epidural medicine.  Life is good.

12:30 AM...Slightly annoyed that her water has not been broken yet-SUDDENLY Henry takes matters into his own hands and Mommy Perks' water breaks naturally on its own. (Way to go Henry!) Mommy Perks is now 5 CM dialalted.  She begins to feel a slight pressure in her nether regions and is concerned about the fact that she can feel pain-isn't this what the epidural is for?

1 AM...Mommy Perks is now in extreme amounts of pain and it becomes clear that the epidural has worn off.  She is barely making it through contractions and at this point one should picture a stereotypical hollywood film showing a pregnant woman in labor-lots of screaming and even a few tears :( Anesthesiologist is called back in, and after a stern talking to from Mommy Perks' mom (aka Henry's Nana) more drugs are given and fingers are crossed that Mommy Perks will return to her happy place.

1:30 AM...God bless the drugs.  Warm tingly sensation has returned.  Mommy Perks is now 7 CM dialated.

1:30-4:30 AM...Mommy and Daddy Perks rest quietly in their room per suggestion of the nurse.  As she puts it, "now is the time to relax and get some rest so that you'll be ready to push when the time comes."

4:30 AM...Mommy Perks is now 9 CM dialated.  Nurse says pushing will begin in 1 hour.

5:30 AM...GAMETIME.  Stirrups come up.  Feet go into place.  Daddy Perks takes one foot.  Nurse takes the other.

5:35 AM...Pushing begins.  Nurse informs Mommy Perks that most first-time moms push for an average of 2-3 hours.  After the first set of pushes Mommy Perks decides that there is NO WAY in hell she's going to push for that long.  At this point contractions are approximately 1-2 minutes apart and each time a contraction comes she must push for 3 counts of 10 seconds while holding her breath. (Easier said than done after 17 hours of labor.)

6 AM...Nurse classifies Mommy Perks as a "really good pusher" but Mommy Perks is convinced that she must say this to to every woman attempting to push a human out of their body.  Nurse also says that the next task is to push the baby's head under the pubic bone. (Sure-no problem.)

6:15 AM...Nurse tells Mommy Perks that she is going to call the doctor to come in.  Mommy Perks knows that her doctor is not on call, but at this point they could ask Kermit the Frog to deliever this baby and she'd probably be ok with it.

6:25 AM...Out of nowhere, Mommy and Daddy Perks' doctor sneaks in the room with a big grin on his face.  He has come to the hospital to deliever the baby even though he is not on call.  BEST. DOCTOR. EVER.  The next 8 minutes are a bit of a blur but Mommy Perks will never forget how she fell in love with her husband just a little bit more in that moment as she watched Daddy Perks watch his son make his final descent out of the womb.  His emotions, excitement, and encouragement single-handedly got her through those last few pushes.  She could NOT have done it without him.

6:33 AM...Henry is born! Emotions in this moment are nearly impossible to describe.  A physically exhausted Mommy Perks cries happy tears as a 7 lb. miracle is hoisted into her arms and she realizes that she doesn't have to push anymore.  Her and Daddy Perks soak in the first few minutes of their son's life-which has consequently become the single greatest moment in both of their lives.

Introducing...

The Perks Family.

I'm sitting here with Henry & the hubby and we can't believe it's been a week already since we became a family.  There's plenty more to share but I'm going to go cash in on some snuggles with my best two boys and enjoy this lovely Labor Day.