A few things they DON'T tell you...

Ok...time to get brutally honest.

You may be thinking this post will only benefit you if you're actually pregnant.  BUT I'm  here to tell you-if you've got a bun in the oven, you're a woman who may someday decide to procreate, OR-even if you're a man with the intention of impregnating your wife someday...read on at your own risk.

I've now officially been a Mommy for a little over 3 months...and while 99% of that time has been what I like to refer to as " cake and cookies"-there have been a few realities that my fellow mommies failed to mention in their efforts to prepare me for the exciting life journey of Motherhood.

I knew there'd be sleepless nights.  (Thank god-not too many for me.)

I knew there'd be moments where I'd be spit up as I was walking out the door.

I even knew that I would probably take on a whole new appreciation for bodily functions-becoming an absolute cheerleader for my son's regular bowel movements and frequent burping.

I DID NOT however know that the following...

Around 3 months after you have a baby-you may start losing LOTS of hair.

I'm not trying to be dramatic- (and thank goodness I've got some hair to spare) but for the last week and a half, every time I run my fingers through my hair a disturbing chunk of hair comes out in my hand.  I thought I was going crazy until another teacher at school told me this is completely normal and pretty typical around this time after giving birth.  My hair stylist also added that I can look forward to my hairline completely changing about the time Henry turns one year old.  AWESOME.  I was hoping in addition to the stretch marks and an unusually elastic stomach-that I'd still be seeing the physical side effects of giving birth a year. after. the. fact.

All you breast-feeders out there...

You may grow accustomed to leaving the house in a top that fits you perfectly, only to find that a few hours later, the buttons are close to popping off due to the fact that it's time to feed your child.  The idea that my boobs (sorry Dad, Father-In-Law, brothers, guy friends, and or any other readers uncomfortable with me referencing this body part-you should know that these days they are feeding device and nothing more) can range 3 different sizes all in the same day is still strange no matter how many times I witness it happen.  I experienced this the other day and found it necessary to visit a dressing room in a retail store, NOT to try on clothes, but to allow Henry to aid in my quest to help my shirt fit once again.  (And we moms think our kids are dependent on us...pshaw.)

Ok-maybe I'll stick with two mommy-isms today.  Wouldn't want to unload too many shockers on you all at once.  Hopefully, you realize I share these things with my readers, only so that they've got a few less suprises thrown at them as they venture down the road of becoming a mom, being married to a mom, or just educating oneself on the perks of life with a little one.

Happy Monday Perks Followers.

I might be THAT Mom...

What mom you ask?

The mom who takes her 16 day-old to the mall.  Those of you who are judging me may want to stop reading now...but if you'd like to hear about how my son farted so loudly when we were in Gymboree today that someone across the store started laughing...read on.

I called my sister yesterday and and told her that Mommy Perks was getting a little stir crazy and needed to get out of the house-so we made a date to go to the mall today.  For some reason, even though I had no intention of purchasing anything today...I felt exhilirated as we pulled into the parking lot and cruised into the "Expectant Mother/New Mommy" parking spot right in front of the mall entrance. (Bonus-I may not be pregnant anymore...but I'll enjoy the perks of a good parking spot as long as I can justifiably classify myself as a "new mother."

Something about going to the mall seemed very civilized to me-as if it was a sign that 16 days into my new role of being a Mommy, I had my stuff together enough to load myself, my child, a carseat carrier, a stroller, and a heaping diaper bag full  of supplies (including but NOT limited to a change of clothes, wipes, butt cream, first aid kit, changing table cover, and ahem-diapers) into the car and drive somewhere.  Small steps right?

It was so nice to spend the afternoon browsing through stores.  It's weird to think that I can finally shop for normal clothes again, considering just a few weeks ago I was limited to wearing clothes exclusively from the spandex and stretch families.   All the new fall fashion made me motivated to get my booty back in my running shoes as soon as I'm allowed to so that I can start repairng the damage a 7 lb. 7 oz. ball of adorable-ness can do to one's mid-section.  Although I must admit, I had way more fun browsing through newborn clothes at all the trendy kid stores...Baby Gap, The Children's Place, and Gymboree.  Speaking of Gymboree and the afformentioned flatulence of my sweet baby boy...I'm not sure how else to state this except to applaud my little one for his ability to burp and fart with the best of them.  And as we perused the denim in Gymboree, Henry definitely let one rip.  A BIG one.  So loud in fact that he drew attention from other shoppers.  One man just smirked, looked at me and said, "Hey-he's working it out right?"  Apparently.

The last 16 days have been absolutely incredible.  We seemed to have created the most perfect baby of all time.  He sleeps when we need him to sleep, eats when he's supposed to eat, and he has certainly mastered the art of being cute at a very young age.  Here are few pictures to prove it...

He loves his thumb :)

He must have really sweet dreams ;)

I think we figured out who Henry looks like...

That's all for now.  Stay tuned as I fill you in on other perks from the past few weeks...including our first trip to the pediatrition, Henry's first bath in the "big boy" tub, and the joys of nursing.