Showing posts with label Teaching Funnies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teaching Funnies. Show all posts

Friday, May 29, 2009

Fun Fruit Friday and More!

Thank goodness it's finally time for another size update on baby Henry.  Feast your eyes on this delicacy...

weeks 29-32No-it's not a mini pumpkin.  It's a squash.  And yes-you read those stats correctly.  For the next few weeks, Henry will be measuring approximately 16-ish inches and weighing in between 2.5 and almost 4 pounds respectively.  Not bad little man!  You're already growing up too fast in my eyes!  Or perhaps my sentiment about wanting to slow down your growth more stems from the fact that you've been making it VERY difficult for Mama to sleep these days.  The bigger you get, the more I toss and turn.

And poor Daddy Perks is getting the raw end of the deal.  A good wife would probably let her husband sleep, even if she was having trouble.  But I figure, if Baby Perks is so lovingly preparing me for tiresome adventures ahead...then I should make sure my hubby gets to experience a few sleepless nights before the big arrival too.  So in the middle of the night when I'm up tossing and turning, I make sure to sigh obnoxiously just loud enough so that my sweet husband will wake up from his peaceful slumber to check on his needy pregnant wife.  Then he goes down the list of typical things I might need...offering me water, gatorade, to turn down the AC, more pillows, less pillows, my sanity...

 I listen, all the while politely thinking in my head... "NO-I DON'T WANT ANY OF THOSE THINGS.  I JUST THINK IF I HAVE TO BE AWAKE AT 3 IN THE MORNING...SO SHOULD YOU!"  So then until we fall back asleep we lay there pondering how our lives are going to change so drastically in just a few short months. It's also during this time that Henry feels it necessary to get his nightly calistenics in...so Daddy Perks and I get to lay together, our hands on my belly, feeling the baby move.  And believe me...there's no better feeling in the world.

Ok-back to the squash.  My handy-dandy baby sizing guide has this to say about the 7th month of pregnancy...

"Baby’s energy is surging, thanks to the formation of white fat deposits beneath the skin. (Have those kicks and jabs to the ribs tipped you off yet?) Baby is also settling into sleep and waking cycles, though -- as you’ve also probably noticed -- they don’t necessarily coincide with your own. Also this month, all five senses are finally functional, and the brain and nervous system are going through major developments."

In other news...my growing belly has been the inspiration on the playground at school these days.  I've noticed several students (mostly girls) have been taking basketballs and other round objects and sticking them under their shirt so "they can be pregnant like Mrs. Perkins."  I've also noticed several students (mostly boys) taking these "pregnant girls" onto the basketball court so they can perform "emergency C-Sections" on them.  God only knows how I'll explain this one to parents.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Check another "first" off the list...

Baby Perks can check yet another holiday off his or her in-utero to-do list.  This morning Mommy Perks had the esteemed pleasure of walking in the Dublin St. Patrick's Day pararde.  Yes-that's right, every teacher's dream is to wake up early on a Saturday morning to walk down a street lined with screaming kids who could care less about who you are, and are way more concerned about the potential sweets you may be throwing their way.

I've decided that parades are nothing more than a lazy form of trick-or-treating for little ones.  Seriously-at least when kids trick-or-treat they're typically looking goofy or adorably dressed as they make their way through suburbia peddling for candy-entertaining the houses they visit.  When it comes to parades, the roles are depressingly reversed. This morning, I picked up on the clear juvenile sentiment that unless I was SpongeBob Squarepants dressed as a shamrock, or the funny looking tuba player in the marching band, these rugrats had no interest in waving to, or screaming at me, but were looking past my simple green garb drooling at the possibilities of the candy I was fisting.

In fact, the most attention I got this morning as my hunter green baby bump and I trudged through a sea of shamrocks and four leaf clovers was a nasty warning from the parade marshall who very kindly said: "Mam, if you wouldn't mind-we'd appreciate if you'd hand the candy directly to the children, rather than chucking it at their heads.  We're trying very hard to maintain the safety of everyone here at the parade."  To which I wanted to retort by saying... "EXCUSE ME Miss-I'm-The-Parade-Marshall-and-am-on-a-really-lame-power-trip-because-I-get-to-wear-a-nerdy-green-vest-and-tell-people-where-to-walk...but since WHEN do you have to hand the candy directly to kids at a parade?  You seemed to have missed the newsflash that half the fun of being a parade-attendee is eagerly waiting as the candy passer-outers walk by so you can trample over your loved ones as you all dive for a single tootsie roll that's lying in a nasty gutter where god knows what liquids have lingered prior to the candy being tossed there!  So if you think I'm gonna stop tossing, throwing, heaving this candy at the little punks who fill my days with endless teachable moments (AKA wiping snotty noses, tying shoes, telling them "No!" for the millionth time while answering "Why?" for for the umpteenth time, all while I smile at their darling little faces thanking God I spend my days with children) then you picked the wrong parade to "marshall" lady, because I'm gonna keep chucking candy at children and enjoy it a little more every second as each piece of Bubble Yum leaves my hand.

Anyway, this morning's parade festivities was another wonderful opportuntiy for me to daydream as I strolled down the street about the many "firsts" I'll get to experience as a new mommy with Baby Perks in the coming years.  As cheesy as parades can feel when you reluctantly march in them; when you look out into the crowds, you witness the beauty of parenting at its finest.  Young fathers who've hoisted their baby girl up on their shoulders in hopes of helping them catch a better view of the action.  Mothers dislodging 17 green tootsie rolls from the mouths of their rotten toddlers who are convinced that if they don't eat them all at once they'll disappear into thin air.   The priceless moments we parents live for.   

It's crazy to think about all the "in-utero" firsts Baby Perks has already had in the short 4 months he or she has existed.*  I think back to Christmas time when we began to tell our nearest and dearest about the amazing news of our little one growing inside me.  Ringing in the new year as Daddy Perks and I looked at each other knowing that 2009 was going be one hell of a year.  There's nothing quite like trying to wrap your brain around the reality that one year you and your hubby are soaking in the bliss of married life and the new home you just purchased, and the next year you're anxiously preparing for the arrival of your baby.  YOUR BABY.  And in case you're wondering...No.  It never seems normal to a first-time mommy that there is a human growing inside her belly.  I often catch myself holding my stomach throughout the day and wonder...what do I think me holding my hand on my tummy is helping to do for my unborn child?  Can he or she feel my hand there?  Is my hand serving as a protective shield from the evil forces of our society?  Who knows...but I know one thing for sure...holding my belly for a few more months can barely tide me over for the excitement I feel at the thought of getting to actually hold my baby come August.

 

*Sidenote to loyal readers...Yes-I'm getting really sick of saying "he or she" every time I refer to the unknown sex of our baby and I'm literally jumping-out-of-my-pants excited for April 3rd to get here so we can finally announce our are little one's gender AND name to the world.  Yes-all in one post.  Life is Full of Perks readers...get ready, the beginning of April is literally going to knock your socks off with all the big reveals that will be happening in the Perks household.