Quick Henry Fix...

We're still in the hospital...but I wanted to give the faithful followers a quick peak at my little monkey man...

He's very pensive.

He's found his thumb already.

We come home from the hospital tomorrow and once we find our new "normal" I promise to give you all the PERKS of the last few days!

A Haiku for Henry.

Hurry up Henry.

You've been in there long enough.

Mom and Dad love you.

**Countdown to kickoff...43 hours**  (OR LESS!)

PS...Daddy Perks and I just got back from a 2 mile walk/jog which I followed up with some serious bouncing on the exercise ball.  Can't hurt right?

One Last Lazy Saturday...

Although at this point we can all agree that we wish Henry was here...Daddy Perks and I are doing the most to enjoy our last baby-free Saturday.

We went to my brother's football game this morning, curled up on the couch and watched a movie, took a 3 hour nap this afternoon, and we've got some friends coming over for dinner.  Something tells me that next Saturday's agenda won't be quite so care-free?

**Special shout out to my dear college friend Meredith who is walking "down the aisle" as we speak.  My less-than-cooperative baby boy has obviously prevented me from being in Indianapolis for her wedding today, but I'm certainly there in spirit.**  Love you Mere!

Thank you SO much to all of you for your calls, texts, and messages-they have truly gotten me and my belly through these past few days.

And for the record...I am well aware that spicy food and other ahem-"adult activities" are supposed to induce labor.  Believe me when I say WE HAVE TRIED IT ALL.

For those of you who are fans of countdowns...at this point we are talking mere hours until our "poky little puppy" finally makes his debut into the world...

We head to the hospital in 70 hours! (OR LESS for all you optimists out there!)

Henry Perks...AKA...the tease.

How much did I wish that I was going to be able to make a post today from the hosptial bed?!?

No. Such. Luck.

Daddy Perks and I headed to our appointment yesterday with an extra hitch in our giddy-up.  Eager first-time parents past their due date anxiously awaiting the arrival of their little one, we put our best foot forward and decided that we were destined to hear one of two things from our doctor...

1.) "Head to the hospital!"

OR

2.) "Let's schedule an induction for tomorrow!"

Wishful thinking much?

Instead the following exchange took place between us and our doctor (who we LOVE by the way) :

Doctor: "You're 3 CM dialated and I really think you can do this on your own.  I know we talked about scheduling an induction today, and we will-BUT, I'm confident that you won't make it to that induction based on what I'm seeing from you today.  You can do this on your own, and I know you'll be much happier if you go into labor on your own vs. having to be induced."

Daddy Perks: "So, what happens if she doesn't go into labor naturally?  Can we schedule an induction for later this week?  Like tomorrow?  Or Friday?"

Doctor: "You're not going to like it, but I was thinking let's hold off until next Tuesday, September 1st to induce her."

At this point Daddy Perks and I look at each other and back at him with the following look on our faces which translates into...

"You don't want to induce us for ANOTHER SIX DAYS ?!?"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  (Internal screaming that occured in both of our brains as this reality set in.)

Doctor: "Look, I know you're anxious, but here's the reality.  Most first-time moms go past their due dates.  So right now, you're still part of the norm.  And I know these last few days are tough...but that baby is bound to come out sooner or later when he's ready.  If I induce you, your labor will most likely take between 12 and 24 hours.  If you go into labor natually, then it's likely to be a LOT quicker and more enjoyable.  So hang with me.  If you're still pregnant next Tuesday morning, then we'll move forward with the induction.  I'm confident we won't need to because I think you'll go into labor natually some time in the next few days."

Can we get that last part in writing?

So-that's the update.

Daddy Perks and I continue to wait.  I continue to be huge.  Our friends and family continue to answer their phones with dire anticipation in their voices every time we call.

All the while, our sweet little Baby Perks continues to be nestled safely in utero-laughing at all of us, thinking to himself...

"I think I'll hang out in here just a bit longer.  Hehe."

40. Weeks. Pregnant.

August 24, 2009...the DUE date.

I thought I'd give Henry all the glory he's earned for making it this far...



My sister took this belly shot tonight to officially document the fact that I WE have made it ALL 40 WEEKS.

I can hardly believe it.  As a girlfriend of mine put it the other night...

"You must have a really comfy uterus."

Wow.  As I type this I'm looking back up at this picture and realizing just how attractive my swollen fingers look.  Just call me one HOT mama. Anyways, the bottom line is...although Henry and I have made this journey together...apparently he's the one calling the shots about exactly when he wants his birthday to be.  If it had been up to me and all my lame attempts at induding labor, my little man would have been here weeks days ago. And after our doctor's appointment this past week I would have put money on the fact that he would have been here by now.  But apparently he's sticking with the statistics which say that first-time mommys tend to have an average pregnancy of 40 weeks and 3 days.  Now-if that's the case Henry will arrive on Thursday.  BUT-we've got another doctor's appointment scheduled for Wednesday...so chances are, by that point we'll have a MUCH better idea of exactly when we can expect Henry to arrive.  As I said before...my doctor promised that he won't let me go more than a week past my due date, so at the very latest...we are looking at August 31st as the BIG day.

In other news...Daddy Perks and I had another lovely baby-less weekend.  We went to a baseball game on Saturday night, ran some errands today, (including what I'm hoping is our LAST trip to Babies 'R Us before the baby arrives) hit up one of our favorite lunch spots & book stores, and then enjoyed a nice steak dinner this evening with my family.  My mom insisted that we play Wii bowling after dinner in an attempt to send me into labor.  (Little does she know...that if the 4 AM lunges and squats I've been doing the past few nights aren't doing the trick, I doubt a few flicks of the wrists is going to be the answer to my labor prayers.)  Yes you read that correctly...as far as trying to force myself into labor goes...I have tried. it. all.  I mean EVERYTHING.  (Thanks to each of you who left comments/suggestions on the labobr-inducing tricks that worked for you...like I said-apparently Henry's got his own agenda.)

I'm officially on maternity leave now-so until the babe arrives I'll be getting my game-face on for the big day...trying to stay busy, but also rest up and conserve my energy to make for a smooth labor/delievery.

As I reflect back on the past 40 weeks, words can't even describe how incredibly blessed I feel to be surrounded by so many loving and supportive people as Daddy Perks and I begin this new chapter in our lives.  We are overwhelmed by the excitement and love we feel from so many of you in anticipation of Henry's arrival...as you can imagine, we are on the edge of our seats waiting for my water to break or for contractions to really kick into high gear.

I promise that since I'm officially done working that I'll keep you as up-to-date as I can on the minute-by-minute developments of Baby Perks' BIG Arrival.

And just so I don't get accused of not giving an official full-sized belly bump update...here's a full shot of yours truly 40. Weeks. Pregnant.

Good thing the shirt I'm wearing doesn't draw ANY unwanted attention to my mid-section.

Any day now...

Daddy Perks and I had another doctor's appointment today.

I have definitely progressed from last week...I'm dialated 2 cm...the baby is starting to drop...I'm "much softer" this week then last...and my doctor "stripped my membranes" (sorry for the specifics but I promised to keep my loyal readers updated).

So...that being said...little Henry could literally be here any. day. now.

I made sure to add extra crushed red pepper to my spaghetti dinner tonight...I figure why not throw a little extra spicy food into the mix to move my little man along?!?

Other than that...not too much going on around the Perks household.  If you were a fly on the wall at our house these days you might find me vigorously bouncing on an exercise ball and enjoying our last few days of "quiet" before the baby arrives.

I promise that IF there's any news to report...we'll be doing our best to keep LIFOP updated so you can keep up on all the action.  We'll have our computer with us at the hospital so hopefully we'll have LOTS of PERKS to share in the coming days!!!

Domestic Perfection...

The nesting is done.

There is NOTHING left to clean/organize in the PERKS household and we are literally just WAITING for a baby.

We've spent the last couple weeks cleaning every last corner of every last room in our house.  Daddy Perks has been a rockstar cleaner-even getting our garage in tip-top shape.  It's so clean in fact that I could even change Henry's diaper on the garage floor.  Alright, perhaps that may be going a bit far-but I nearly shed a tear when I came home Friday evening to find my hubby hard at work putting the finishing touches on a project he's been at for weeks.  So...the garage is done.  The laundry is done.  The bathrooms are windexed and tilexed and cloroxed.  The carpets are vacuumed. The dishes are clean and put away.  The grocery shopping is done for the week.

The hospital bags are packed.  The carseat base is installed.  The phone tree has been made. My ankles are still swollen.

And Henry continues to move around in my belly...just happy and content as a clam.  Daddy Perks had a serious heart to heart with him earlier this evening...he told him that his Mommy and Daddy are getting quite antsy waiting for him and that he promises to provide him with accommodations that are just as cozy outside of the womb as he's currently experiencing inside the womb.  I mean come on...he can't tell me he's got monkeys hanging from a vine where he's currently residing.  We've tried to assure him there's WAY more room out here and that he's got a gazillion hugs and kisses waiting for him if he'd hurry up and "drop" and get this show on the road.

Anyways...guess it's up to him when he's ready to make his grand debut.  We'll have another appointment on Wednesday to find out if there's been any new developments.  Until then, I'll just be sitting in my squeaky clean house and living in denial that it'll stay that way once the baby arrives. A girl can dream right?

Any fellow moms out there who've got the secret on how I can induce labor...I'd love to hear them :)  If your suggestion works...I promise to reward you handsomely.

The 39th Week of Pregnancy.

The faint and weary-hearted need not apply.

The blood.  The sweat.  The tears.

All worth it?  You bet.

But the truth of the matter is...the final days aren't easy.

I'm tired. More tired then I've ever felt in my life.

I'm big. I've begun to have tunnel vision while passing mirrors in my house these days.  It's quite frankly scary if and when I accidentally happen to catch a profile shot of myself.  I've started closing my eyes when the nurse weighs me at the doctor's office.  But even more than the superficial "big" I feel these days...is the the way I've logistically lost control of manuvering myself through everyday physical tasks that's taking it's toll.  Standing up.  Sitting down.  Getting in and out of the car.  You laugh...but with the belly I'm toting around these days...even the simplest of moves are a challenge to complete.

I'm hot. It seems the August humidity finally decided to show up just in time to laugh in my face as I wade through the final days of my inability to stabalize the temperature in my house and my body.  Poor Daddy Perks.  Tonight he went to bed in sweatpants and a long-sleeved thermal shirt as I stripped down to a t-shirt with the fan on full blast 2 feet away from our bed.  And my pregnancy "glow"...these days it's more of a look that warrants somebody saying..."can somebody get that girl a glass of water?"

I'm swollen. I'm retaining water like a wet beach towel and my face, fingers and feet have given new definition to the word puffy.  It's pitiful really.  And when I'm out in public, I get the looks to prove it.  I'm no longer getting the "isn't pregnancy wonderful?" smiles from perfect strangers.  Oh no.  Now I've grown more accustomed to receiving the "oh you poor thing" pity looks from men and women alike.  Sympathy looks from the women who've been pregnant before.  And sympathy looks from the men who also at one point in their lives wore sweatpants and thermal shirts to bed in August.

To sum it all up...

I'm ready.

Quick Henry Update...

I know it's been 6 days since I posted so I figured I better post something to let y'all know I'm not in labor...Henry is still nestling safely in my belly. Although, he's pretty cramped these days, and he and I have been having lots of heart-to-hearts about how Mommy's ready for him to come out ASAP :)

We've been putting the finishing touches on the nursery and I CAN'T WAIT to show you all how it's turned out.  It's delicious.  Pictures to come, I promise.

We had an appointment on Wednesday...and I'm excited to let you know I've dialated a whopping 1/2 of  a centimeter...which basically means a whole lot of nothing.  I could still be in the same boat 3 weeks from now.  My blood pressure was a little bit high, but nothing to be too alarmed about.  We are a mere 17 days away from the due date...so anything can happen at this point...

Sorry for the boring post...we've been having technical difficulties with our computer...I'm using Daddy Perks' work computer as we speak.

I promise that I will resume normal witty, creative, hilarious, picture-filled posting this weekend :)

Happy Friday.

Hank's Weekend With the Ladies...

Last weekend my little Henry and I ventured over to Indianapolis for the weekend for some very special celebrating.  He helped me spend the weekend honoring two of my dear college girlfriends (and loyal LIFOP readers) Meredith and Angela who are getting hitched in August and September respectively.

Brides-To-Be...Ang & Mere!

Now on a normal basis any 34 week-old in utero baby might be askin' his Mama to take it easy and stay off her feet so close to his arrival date, but once Henry found out that I'd be hanging out with this group of smokin' hot ladies-he knew he had to make an exception.  (He may be young...but Henry knows when to turn on the charm already.  He spent all weekend kicking like crazy so that all of his soon-to-be-honorary-aunts could feel him move in my belly.  He's such a ham.)

I can not tell you how wonderful it was to spend the weekend with so many of my nearest and dearest girlfriends that I don't get to see hardly enough.  After college we spread out all over the country and these days it seems like it takes an engagement, wedding, shower, bachelorette party, or baby to bring us all together!  Our weekends spent together may be few and far between, but when we all reunite, we haven't missed a beat-and this weekend was no exception.

On Friday night we spent the evening having a serious catch-up session...we gabbed about everything going on in each other's lives...wedding plans, work drama, love lives, grad school, nursery decor, proposal stories, etc.  You ladies out there know what I mean when I say there was no shortage of topics to be covered!

On Saturday, the festivities got a little less "G-Rated" as we headed to the hotel to properly honor our bachelorettes.  I must say, I was glad Henry spent the night celebrating with us in utero.  I'm hoping that some of the presents that were exchanged are items he does not see with his innocent little eyes until they are worn by his wife on their honeymoon.  A mom can dream right?

Anyways, here are a few photos from the evening.  Like I said, Henry was one lucky little dude to be surrounded by such a beautiful group of ladies...

Aunt Abby & Mama Perks...rockin' the black & white look :)

Mama Perks & Aunt Ang!

Group Shot as we headed out on the town!

*This shot (while highly unflattering) is proof for Henry that his Mama still knows how to get down on the dance floor!

He was rockin' to the beat with all the ladies all. night. long.

While we stayed out way past my bedtime, it was SO worth the swollen feet I had by the end of the night to help celebrate two wonderful ladies.  I am so excited for both of them to begin their lives with their hubbies so that some day they'll have "little Henry's" running around so we can have playdates!

Sunday the festivities continued...but we switched the celebration from brides to babies!  The girls were so sweet to host a baby shower for me since we were all together!  It was so nice to be surrounded by their love and support as we toasted to Henry.  Sercretly-I think they are all glad to watch me venture down pregnancy/mommyhood lane first so that I can share all the in's and out's with them...the good (feeling the baby move and falling in love so hard with a person you don't even know)...the bad (morning sickness and back pains)...and the ugly (maternity wardrobe nightmares and hair growing on parts of your body you never hoped for-even in the pre-pubescent stage of your life.)

Once again, my little guy was spoiled with all kinds of goodies...here are a few shots from the lovely affair:

Henry's first diaper cake!  If you look closely...the cupcakes spell out his name!

Belly Shot @ 34 weeks!

Honorary Aunts-to-Be...(looking good even after a long night of dancing!)

Henry surrounded by the ladies!

Thank you to each of you who made this such a special weekend.  It will probably be my last official "girl's weekend" before Henry arrives, and it was certainly one for the books!  I love each of you dearly and can't wait for you to meet my little one.

Stay tuned this week because I'll be catching y'all up on nursery developments, my 763rd trip to Babies R Us, and all the other adventures Daddy Perks and I have had as we round 3rd base and head home for Henry!

Holy 34 weeks and 3 days...

I recieved a text from Daddy Perks yesterday which said:

"39 days. 13 hours. 5 minutes until our due date."

Can you believe it?  The hubby and I sat in the nursery last night and sifted through mounds and mounds of baby goodies.  No joke-Henry is going to be the best dressed baby this side of the Mississippi.  We've got more tubes of Bourdeaux's Butt Paste then any one baby toosh should need.  Baby Jordan's...check.  7,032 Stuffed Monkeys...check.  Enough onesies to last us the first year and never wear twice...check.  Put-together stroller...check.  Ironed crib skirt...check.

And as we sat there and looked at each other we couldn't help but smile.  When this journey started so many months ago it seemed as if our due date would never get here.  And now, we are literally days away from meeting our sweet baby boy.

I've joked about not wanting to make it all the way to my due date...thinking that I wouldn't mind bypassing a few weeks of the back pains, sleepless nights tossing and turning, and the recent waddling which now serves as my main mode of foot transportation.  But as the days begin to dwindle, I'm starting to think I'm going to miss these days.  There's something to be said for anticipation.  And as we anxiously await the arrival of Henry there's so many things we spend our days wondering...what he"ll look like..what he'll sound like...if he'll like monkeys.

I also think about the unique bond which Henry and I currently share.  Once he enters into the world this bond will change forever.  I will no longer feel his hiccups in the pit of my stomach.  I will no longer get to carry him with me wherever I go.  I will no longer be the only one who knows when he's moving, stretching, and kicking.  But the amazing thing is-in just a few short weeks I'll be able to hold him in my arms.  I'll be able to watch him sleep.  I'll be able to smother him with the thousands of hugs and kisses I'm currently stockpiling.

Ok...I don't want to get too mushy.  PLUS-we've been busy these past couple weeks and I've got LOTS to share with you!  Stay tuned to hear about all the PERKS of Henry's most recent in utero adventures.  Let's just say...my little one is QUITE the ladies man.

Celebrating Aunt Mego's 3-0!

My goodness, Henry and I had a BUSY weekend!

And by Saturday night I had the swollen ankles and feet to prove it.

On Friday I travelled to northern Ohio in honor of my lovely sister-in-love, Megan's 30th birthday celebration.  I spent the weekend with some fabulous ladies celebrating Megan in true fashion.  We stayed in a gorgeous condo in Sandusky, Ohio and on Saturday we spent the day on the island of Put In Bay.  It just so happened to be Pirate Weekend on the island which turned out to be free entertainment at its best.  I'm actually quite glad that my little man experienced the weekend in utero seeing as not everything we saw/experienced in Put In Bay was what one might call "G-Rated."

It was so great to sneak out of town for a few days.  I tried to soak in every last second of the trip seeing as soon enough I won't be able to get away for a "girls weekend" quite so easily.  Here are a few shots from the trip:

Mimi Pat & Aunt Mego (aka my Mother-In-Law & Sister-In-Law)

Some of the fabulous girls on the trip...just before we boarded the Jet Express to Put In Bay!

(Henry was one lucky little man to spend the weekend with such a good looking group of ladies!)

A little belly rub/love for Henry!

Group shot of us hangin' on Put In Bay Island!

We had such a great time dancing and singing the night away.  In fact, I'm sure at some point Henry might have wondered what all the bouncing around was about...but I made sure to remind him that even at 33 weeks pregnant, his mommy still knows how to get down on the dance floor.  Although he did make his presence known by the wee hours of the morning as we took the ferry back home...I looked down to see that my sandals were a bit more snug due to my swollen feet and ankles.  I guess it was his way of reminding me to take it easy as we settle in for the home stretch of his stay in my belly.

I hurried back to Columbus on Sunday because Henry and I were the guests of honor at another baby shower hosted by two very dear friends of mine Kristin and Brande.  Stay tuned to hear all about the monkey madness!

Birthdays + Showers=Happy Perks!

So. Much. To. Say.

So. Little. Time.

Bottome line...this is a HUGE weekend for Daddy, Mama & Henry Perks.

Yesterday I turned the big 2-6.  Shhhhhh.  I'm trying not to make a big deal of the fact that I've officially entered into a new quarter century of my life.  Anyways...a quick run-down of the day:

I spent the day and night celebrating with friends and family.  Daddy Perks took me to lunch.  We ate on the patio at BW3's where I indulged in some delicious boneless wings and a tasty lemonade...enjoying the spectacular weather and my lovely hubby.  We then sauntered over to Coldstone Cremery AKA "God's proof that he loves the world" and I indulged in my favorite ice cream combo: Cake Batter with Strawberries.  I was entirely too full to even eat ice cream after the wings but I believe on your birthday one should overindulge for 24 hours straight.

After work we met some of my nearest and dearest at my favorite local mexican hot spot for some delicious chips and salsa and cheezy goodness.  I spent the night enjoying the fact that birthdays are just a great excuse to make all the people I  love come together to eat my favorite food.

And while the gathering itself was a fabulous enough, my dear friends and family also spoiled me with presents.  I was lucky enough to acquire a few gift certificates so I can march my pregnant hiney over to the spa to have a few pregnancy massages AND finally tend to my very-much-neglected-non-pedicured toes.  Anyone who knows me knows what a sucker I am for massages and pedicures so these gifts were almost enough to make me shed hormonal- imbalance pregnancy tears.  Spa-visiting Mama Perks=pure bliss.

Here's a shot of Henry on his way out to celebrate his Mommy's birthday...

(Baby Perks informed me via baby kicking morse code that he's sick of sharing the spotlight with his Mama in photos...)

As if the birthday celebration last night wasn't enough...today the fun continues!  Henry & I will spend the day being showered with gifts at a baby shower being hosted for us by mine and Daddy Perks' moms...or as we've come to refer to them in the past few months...Nana Shubs & Mimi Pat.  We decided that when you reach "grandmother status" one should be able to decide what their grandchild should call them and these are the names which our moms have come up with.  Now whether or not Henry takes to actually referring to his grandmas this way...only time will tell.

Anyways...I'll make sure to take LOTS of pictures of today's festivities and report back ASAP.

PS...Little Henry's rooms is coming along splendidly.  The crib AND dresser/changing table are put together and his room is waiting to be filled with all kinds of goodies from today's shower.  In fact, the gifts have already started rolling in!  The UPS man must have made a mental note that somebody's having a baby at our house because he stopped here 3 times this week to deliver packages from Babies 'R Us!  Perhaps I should leave a plate of warm cookies for him in anticipation of his impending visits?

A Few PERKS I Miss...

Uninterrupted sleep.  Long gone are the days of 7-8 hours of continuous sleep.  My nights are now regularly interrupted by back pains, bathroom breaks, and baby kicks.  

A fully functioning brain.  Truth.  This one could in large part be linked to my lack of uninterrupted sleep. However...even in the first trimester when I was sleeping like a rock I still suffered from a bad case of the "mommy mind" or "pregnancy brain" as many women fondly refer to it.  Due to this, I am liable to forget to perform simple tasks such as returning phone calls, taking showers, remembering birthdays, attending significant events (aka I almost forgot about my brother's graduation this past weekend), keeping dates straight, etc.  I CAN however always remember to do the following...sit for hours feeling my sweet baby boy kick around in my tummy, regularly drive through McDonald's and order a quarter pounder with cheese value meal (large sized of course...the extra fries are for Henry), spend endless amounts of time thinking about nursery decor, have regular nightmares about breastfeeding (the most recent one was that I accidentally breastfed Daddy Perks instead of Henry), and fall more in love with my wonderful husband (after I move on from the thought of accidentally breastfeeding him.)

Skinny Jeans & Mall Browsing.  Those of you who have called me while I'm perusing the mall know what I'm talking about.  Each time I now step into a retail setting, I immediately start to sense anxiety about all the fun clothes my body is no longer equipped to wear.  Don't get me wrong-I'm still having one steamy affair with elastic waistbands.  However, as summer rolls around and girls begin to trot around in short shorts and skimpy tank tops, I spend my days dreaming of which tent-like frock will make me look the least "whale-like."  I'm in a constant battle to find patterns and materials that draw attention away from my mid-section (believe me...Henry/my belly are getting plenty of attention all on their own.) As my belly grows outward, my hatred for florescent lighting and Target dressing rooms grows upward. 

Ability To Stand Up From a Couch, Chair, or Bed Without Using Hands.  Not exactly sure when this simple task snuck out of my bag of tricks.  I do know that I'm super glad when Daddy Perks is around and I have to stand up because he's always there to lend a helping hand to aid in his pathetic and pregnant better half trying to shift from a sitting/laying position to fully upright.  Laugh now people.  Ladies-someday this will be you.  And gentleman-someday this will be your wife.  Getting out of bed is the most pathetic.  I'm now beginning to master a roll/twist/swing the legs manuver which could probably be turned into an extremely lucrative instructional video for first-time mommys.

He Can See...

According to some of my reading, Henry's little eyelids are no longer fused together.  At some point during the last few days he opened his eyes for the very first time.  Can you imagine what it must feel like to have your first moments of sight?  It's an almost impossible thought to wrap one's brain around.  He's currently checking out his surroundings thinking to himself... "I should have upgraded to the stainless steel and cherry cabinets.  And what the hell was I thinking opting for the studio.  I could really use a second bedroom right now."  

Henry also continues to develop thin layers of fat on his body which will help protect him during the birthing process. I spent the week doing what I could to aid in this protection by having french fries on two three different occasions this week.  Some mommys may call this a series of bad decisions...I chalk it up to the fact that in addition to my french fry binge, it was ALSO teacher appreciation week at school.  Bad. News. Bears for expecting mommys who are trying to eat healthy.  Seriously, every morning I was greeted by either bagels or doughnuts (or both) in the office.  One should not deprive their growing boy of a nice baked good should they?  In fact, I figured it would be appropriate to reward Henry for his big developmental accomplishment this week anyways... "Congrats Henry, Mommy is so proud of you for opening your eyes this week.  In fact-I'm going to have 2 glazed doughnuts to help you commemorate your milestone." Beyond the baked goods, their were parent potlucks which made sure to cover all the basic food groups: chips, cookies, brownies and pop.  

This week I am also soaking in my last week in the 2nd trimester, AKA the honeymoon trimester.  Next week I will officially begin the third and final trimester of my pregnancy.  Holy cow, where have the last 7 months gone? Seriously...I must have skipped philosophy class the day the professor taught the age-old saying , "Time flies when you're growing a human inside of you."  For the next 3 months Daddy Perks and I will spend our days preparing to make room for our little Henry.  And believe me, there is A LOT to do.  In fact, I'll leave you with the growing "mommy-to-do" list that is currently floating arround in my head...

In no particular order...

1.) Purchase baby furniture

2.) Put together furniture once it arrives

3.) Agree on a set of furniture (must be done to accomplish 1 & 2 on list)

4.) Set up tour of the hospital

5.) Sign up for birthing classes

6.) Attend wedding, bachelorette, baby showers that take up many of our remaining weekends before Henry's arrival

7.) Celebrate Mommy & Daddy Perks' birthdays in June

8.) Continue to "de-clutter" the house and cupboards AKA clear a space in the kitchen for bottles, etc.

9.) Finish registering at Babies 'R Us and begin and finish registering at Pottery Barn for Kids

10.) Consult expert Moms out there on tips of things to make sure we get done during the 3rd trimester...

10.) stop adding to this list immediately as my anxiety is mounting...

 

Happy Friday.

Not a stitch of heartburn...

Uh oh.  I just had a thought.  I (thank heavens) have not experienced heartburn AT ALL during my pregnancy.  And while I'm thankful to have avoided at least one "blissful" side effect during this crazy journey I can't help but wonder...

Is Henry going to be a bald baby?  

Now for those of you haven't spent the last six months of your life being bombarded by pregnancy wives's tales...the word on the street regarding heartburn is that if you experience lots of it, that your baby is bound to have a full head of hair as it makes its debut into the world.  

Ok you mommy readers out there...help me out.  Let me know your history...if you have had experience with birthing "heartburn babies" that were STILL bald, OR if you bypassed heartburn but still managed to produce a baby with a decent set of locks out of the womb...I want to hear about it!

Help a wondering Momma out!

Happy heartburn-less Monday!

xoxo,

Mama Perks

Baby Perks is a...

 

BOY!

 

*Stay tuned for ALL KINDS OF UPDATES...

Shake What Your Mama (And Daddy) Gave Ya...

As a first-time-Mommy-to-be...my mind is constantly wandering about the impending arrival of our little one.  It's hard not to let your thoughts be consumed by the reality that in a few short months another human will literally turn my world upside down.  (In a good way of course!)  Part of the exciting anticipation of Baby Perks' arrivial is imagining what traits and characteristics our bambino will inherit from each of us.  Assuming we don't have one of those awkward "must have been the milkman's baby" or "did we take home the right baby from the hospital?" situations...(you know what I'm talking about right?  Those babies that look NOTHING like thier parents.  The ones that literally have everyone whispering and thinking... "this can't be their kid-can it?")  Well-assuming we bequeath the the good, the bad, and the ugly to our little one...here's what I'm hoping he/she gets from each us.  And also, here's what I'm certain he/she's bound to have whether they like it or not...

*The thickest/waviest hair OF ALL TIME.  This is a trait that's not even in question.  If you know Mommy and Daddy Perks, then you know this baby is destined to have "a head of hair."  In fact, the hubby and I giggle about it often-thinking "Holy moly-our kid is screwed."  They're either gonna be summoned by Loreal for shampoo commercials (best case scenario) OR be the laughing stock of the school because they've got the type of fro that just ain't meant for a white kid (worst case scenario.)  *Point of reference...for those of you thinking-Mommy Perks-you've got great hair...PLEASE know that I was COMPLETELY bald until the age of 2.  No-not 2 months old, 2 YEARS old.  That's right people...the girl you know and love with the thick, wavy, donate-to-Locks-of-Love head of hair, was rockin' the bald look for the first two years of my life.  Sometimes good things come to those who wait.

*We know he/she WON'T have brown eyes.  According to my (very little) knowledge of recessive genetics, it's impossible for two parents with blue eyes to have a baby with brown eyes.  (If I'm being 100% accurate, Daddy Perks actually has one blue eye and one "depends on the day/what color shirt he's wearing" eye.  It bounces between blue, green and hazel.  So correct me if I'm wrong all you doctors out there...but I'm pretty sure I'll be falling in love with Baby Perks' baby blues...

*I'm hoping  praying Baby Perks' gets my skin tone.  No offense Daddy Perks, you've got a lovely complexion-but unless our kid wants to bathe in SPF 50 at all times, I'm hoping he/she inherits my ability to soak up the sun and be outside for longer than 7 minutes before his or her skin suffers 3rd degree burns on a rainy day.  

*I know Daddy Perks has to be praying that our little one does NOT inherit my volume control issues.  (You're thinking...define "volume control issues.")  Well, how do I put this?  Frankly-I'm loud.  It's been an ongoing challenge for anyone who has had the esteemed pleasure of being around me-ever.  (I'll take this moment to apologize to anyone who has ever had to live with me...my husband, parents, siblings, college roommates, my upstair neighbors, etc.)   Let me try to explain.   When I was in high school my bedroom was in the basement and I'd be talking on the phone when I'd hear my parents yell from their bedroom (on the second floor of the house) "Can you please LOWER your voice?  The rest of the house does not want or need to hear your latest breakdown of yesterday's Dawson's Creek episode."  Is that pitiful or what?  When I did my student teaching-my advisor had one (and ONLY one) bit of  "constructive criticism" she lent me..."Well, when you're teaching dear, you might want to try and monitor your volume-you're a bit loud. It's alright honey, when I was teaching,  I often had trouble turning off my teacher voice too."  To which I rolled my eyes thinking a.) when do you ever need to "lower your voice" in a room full of 7 year-olds, and b.) Lady-that ain't my "teacher voice"-that's just my god-given vocals-I've been talking at that octive since I learned to babble in the first place.  

*Here's to hoping our kid has a good ol' fashioned case of the funnies.  We love to laugh in the Perks household.  It's really a MUST that our child be giggling as he/she exits the womb.  I can't imagine having a kid who doesn't love a good belly laugh as much as we do.  I'd be thrilled if Baby Perks' inherits Daddy's ability to make people laugh.  It's one (of a million) reasons that I love and adore my husband.  He's absolutely hysterical and although I sometimes refrain from laughing at his jokes (somebody has to keep him grounded) he truly was brought on this earth to make people laugh.  He's incredibly talented and disgustingly witty, and I'd be proud to have our child get every bit of his/her funnies from Daddy.

Ok Baby Perks-make a mental note of each of these.  We're counting on you to get the best of our best.

I took the plunge...

I've been dreading it for weeks now.  Maybe even months.  Believe me when I say, I've YET to meet a female who looks forward to this day.   I speculate it's one of those things that many women keep moving further and further down their "To Do" list for fear of the florescent lighting, discovery of unknown cellulite, and bright patterns that hug in all the wrong places.  It seems the only circumstance which can negatively heighten this already nightmarish task is to tack on an almost five month pregnant belly to the escapade.

That's right ladies...it's swimsuit season.  And Mommy Perks is heading to Florida in one week.  And the black string bikini I sported on my senior year of college spring break trip to Acapulco, Mexico WON'T be  making the trip this year.  

Oh no-I've conveniently buried any and all remnants of each of my swimsuits into the "won't-be-wearing-you-for-awhile" storage box.  My swim suits which possess the following descriptions: 2-piece, string bottom ties, strapless, low-cut, low-rise, triangle top, open back or any other un-mommy-to-be-like characteristics have been placed in the "I'll get back there someday" hope chest of dreaming I'll defy the odds and return to a bikini-ready post-baby body.

So today I took the plunge.  I slapped on my MJ's (maternity jeans for you new readers) and headed into retail hell in hopes of purchasing a maternity bathing suit.  My aspirations of landing an ensemble that fell somewhere in between the ranks of a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover suit and an Alaskan Fur Parka had begun.  The chest tightening began almost immediately.  Thank god for the complimentary orange juice and water the lovely sales ladies offer you as you saunter about belly world because I couldn't decipher if my angst stemmed more from low blood sugar or the  impending reality of my inner thighs seeing the light of day for the first time in a while.  I chugged some tropicana as I made my way to the bathing suit section, keeping tunnel vision, so as not to lay eyes on any of the "I'm 8 months pregnant and look like I have a softball under my shirt" women.  I managed to gather a few potential options, headed for the fitting area and sat down once I got into my dressing room, feeling a bit winded.  

As I peeled off my jeans, I almost pulled out my sunglasses to shield my eyes from the glaring whiteness of my legs.  You undoubtedly don't realize how much you miss your summer sun-kissed body until it's March and you live in Ohio.  As soon as I recovered from the reality that I no longer need the prosthetic belly (yes-you can actually strap on a 7-month or 9-month fake belly while you're trying on clothes if you're in your early stages of pregnancy) I began the "weeding out the duds" process.  I slipped myself in and quickly out of a few "not-in-this-lifetime" choices and finally stumbled upon a tasteful pick that seemed to meet my basic needs.  Black.  V-neck.  Enough coverage to support the baby-feeders as the "milk begins to arrive".  Flattering.  Black.  Not-too-tight.  Comfy for long hours of basking in the sun.   Black.  PERFECT.  I somehow managed to secure swimming/sunbathing attire and live to blog about it.

Which brings me to the present.  The blissful reality that in one short week I will jet set to one of my most favorite places in the whole world.  I get a sheepish grin just thinking about it.  I'll be ditching the dodgy midwest weather to head down south to sunny Florida where the sun is literally always shining.  (Rainstorms in the sunshine state last about t-minus 7 minutes...just long enough to leave the pool, run back to the house for a cold beverage, and re-lather yourself in SPF goodness.)   

Not to mention, this will be Baby Perks' first and only in-utero trip to Florida.  He/She will have to enjoy the sun via my belly (and cute new maternity bathing suit) as I spend long hours by the pool, enjoying the fact that I'll be sans students, stress, and silly Ohio weather.  

Life is INDEED full of perks these days.  (Sometimes it just takes suffering through bathing suit shopping to get to them.)

Check another "first" off the list...

Baby Perks can check yet another holiday off his or her in-utero to-do list.  This morning Mommy Perks had the esteemed pleasure of walking in the Dublin St. Patrick's Day pararde.  Yes-that's right, every teacher's dream is to wake up early on a Saturday morning to walk down a street lined with screaming kids who could care less about who you are, and are way more concerned about the potential sweets you may be throwing their way.

I've decided that parades are nothing more than a lazy form of trick-or-treating for little ones.  Seriously-at least when kids trick-or-treat they're typically looking goofy or adorably dressed as they make their way through suburbia peddling for candy-entertaining the houses they visit.  When it comes to parades, the roles are depressingly reversed. This morning, I picked up on the clear juvenile sentiment that unless I was SpongeBob Squarepants dressed as a shamrock, or the funny looking tuba player in the marching band, these rugrats had no interest in waving to, or screaming at me, but were looking past my simple green garb drooling at the possibilities of the candy I was fisting.

In fact, the most attention I got this morning as my hunter green baby bump and I trudged through a sea of shamrocks and four leaf clovers was a nasty warning from the parade marshall who very kindly said: "Mam, if you wouldn't mind-we'd appreciate if you'd hand the candy directly to the children, rather than chucking it at their heads.  We're trying very hard to maintain the safety of everyone here at the parade."  To which I wanted to retort by saying... "EXCUSE ME Miss-I'm-The-Parade-Marshall-and-am-on-a-really-lame-power-trip-because-I-get-to-wear-a-nerdy-green-vest-and-tell-people-where-to-walk...but since WHEN do you have to hand the candy directly to kids at a parade?  You seemed to have missed the newsflash that half the fun of being a parade-attendee is eagerly waiting as the candy passer-outers walk by so you can trample over your loved ones as you all dive for a single tootsie roll that's lying in a nasty gutter where god knows what liquids have lingered prior to the candy being tossed there!  So if you think I'm gonna stop tossing, throwing, heaving this candy at the little punks who fill my days with endless teachable moments (AKA wiping snotty noses, tying shoes, telling them "No!" for the millionth time while answering "Why?" for for the umpteenth time, all while I smile at their darling little faces thanking God I spend my days with children) then you picked the wrong parade to "marshall" lady, because I'm gonna keep chucking candy at children and enjoy it a little more every second as each piece of Bubble Yum leaves my hand.

Anyway, this morning's parade festivities was another wonderful opportuntiy for me to daydream as I strolled down the street about the many "firsts" I'll get to experience as a new mommy with Baby Perks in the coming years.  As cheesy as parades can feel when you reluctantly march in them; when you look out into the crowds, you witness the beauty of parenting at its finest.  Young fathers who've hoisted their baby girl up on their shoulders in hopes of helping them catch a better view of the action.  Mothers dislodging 17 green tootsie rolls from the mouths of their rotten toddlers who are convinced that if they don't eat them all at once they'll disappear into thin air.   The priceless moments we parents live for.   

It's crazy to think about all the "in-utero" firsts Baby Perks has already had in the short 4 months he or she has existed.*  I think back to Christmas time when we began to tell our nearest and dearest about the amazing news of our little one growing inside me.  Ringing in the new year as Daddy Perks and I looked at each other knowing that 2009 was going be one hell of a year.  There's nothing quite like trying to wrap your brain around the reality that one year you and your hubby are soaking in the bliss of married life and the new home you just purchased, and the next year you're anxiously preparing for the arrival of your baby.  YOUR BABY.  And in case you're wondering...No.  It never seems normal to a first-time mommy that there is a human growing inside her belly.  I often catch myself holding my stomach throughout the day and wonder...what do I think me holding my hand on my tummy is helping to do for my unborn child?  Can he or she feel my hand there?  Is my hand serving as a protective shield from the evil forces of our society?  Who knows...but I know one thing for sure...holding my belly for a few more months can barely tide me over for the excitement I feel at the thought of getting to actually hold my baby come August.

 

*Sidenote to loyal readers...Yes-I'm getting really sick of saying "he or she" every time I refer to the unknown sex of our baby and I'm literally jumping-out-of-my-pants excited for April 3rd to get here so we can finally announce our are little one's gender AND name to the world.  Yes-all in one post.  Life is Full of Perks readers...get ready, the beginning of April is literally going to knock your socks off with all the big reveals that will be happening in the Perks household.