Belly "perks."

I sat in my classroom today and watched different sections of my belly move up and down.  Literally. 

Make sure to check your Webster's tonight...I'm pretty sure the defintion for the word "strange" has officially been updated.  It now states: 

Pronunciation: \ˈstrānj\

Function: adjective

Inflected Form(s): strang·er; strang·est

Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French estrange, from Latin extraneus, literally, external, from extra outside 

Date: 13th century

Definition: The feeling that a first-time-mommy-to-be has as she gazes down at her stomach and watches it rise and fall due to her unborn child moving around inside of her.  

The expression "my body is no longer my own" has never rung more true in the past 24 weeks then it does today.  I literally have lost control over the "stillness" of my midsection.  Weird huh?   

This new development has had my brain wandering to weird "mommy mind" places.  I find myself thinking...should I avoid banks for the next 4 months? What in the world would I do in the off chance that I get caught in a heist and the robber says: "Lady, move a muscle and I'll shoot."  Do you think he'd take pity on me due to my complete lack of control over my undulating stomach?  You're right.  I'll be sending Daddy Perks to the bank from now through August.

Speaking of my active little tyke...I also feel it's my civic duty to admit something to you so I can get it off my chest.  It's important that you all know that I scolded my sweet baby Henry for the first time the other day.  Now-before you go and call child protective services on me, let me explain.

 Daddy Perks and I were in a hurry to head to a birthday party this past weekend and as I rustled through my minuscule maternity wardrobe (*Note-it's not fun to wistfully stare into a gigantic walk-in closet and realize that my clothing options hang on about 7 hangers total.) I went to grab for a pair of shorts (thank you weather gods for 80 degree weather in April) and all of the sudden felt my little one do some sort of rediculous karate move in my stomach that litterally caused me to wince in pain and yell "Ouch Henry!"  To which Daddy Perks bolted out of the bathroom and said : "Did you just yell at our son?"  To which I thought...define "yell."  

Here's the thing...you won't find anyone on this earth who's more in love with my baby boy than me.  I dare you to try.  BUT-when Mommy's in a hurry and trying to rush to put her super stretchy-waist shorts on while simultaneously slipping on a pair of shoes, and her kid starts to inadvertently brag about his growing little legs by jabbing his mama in the side, she may (just for a second) forget how "cute" that is and feel a sense of irritation.  So while Henry's daddy came running to his rescue, ready to go to bat for his kid, I may have experienced my first feeling of annoyance with my child.  Whew.  There.  I said it.  Please don't judge me.  

You'll be proud to know that after my momentary lapse of thinking my kid-can-do-no-wrong, Henry and I sat down, had a chat, and came to a common understanding.  He promised that he'd keep all his high-stepping, leg-kicking, limb-shaking activities to a minimum when Mommy's in a hurry, and in return, I promised that I'd go back to thinking that every little move he makes (including his in utero somersaults and hiccups) are the most precious thing ever.  That is-while he's still in my belly.  I'm pretty sure that once he's out of the womb and I find him drawing on our bedroom walls with permanent marker because Daddy Perks is too busy watching ESPN, then we'll have to redefine the terms of this agreement.

 

 

10 Answers I Wish I Had Posted On My Forehead...

It's a funny thing being pregnant.  You spend your days trying to wrap your brain around the fact that your stomach is housing a real, live, evolving human being.  It's an insanely incredible miracle.  There's truly no better feeling in the world than sitting down after a hard days work to spend some QT with Daddy Perks and my sweet baby boy as he kicks away in my belly.  

One of the greatest perks of being pregnant is how incredibly loved and supported I've felt through my amazing journey of becoming a mother.  This support obviously starts with my husband who is too perfect for words.  His unyielding love and support over the past six months has made me fall more in love with him than I ever knew to be possible. There's literally no other person in the world I'd rather have standing beside me as we stand on the threshold of parenthood, ready to welcome our little Henry into the world.

Beyond Daddy Perks-my family, friends, and even perfect strangers have also shared in the excitement of my ever-expanding belly.  As my belly continues to grow, I welcome the stares, smiles, belly rubs,  and even free advice from the many women whom I've never met that have no qualms about coming up to me in public places and inquiring about my pregnancy.  Which brings me to the title of  my post.  Here are the top ten most popular questions  (and my answers) that perfect strangers feel inclined to ask me and my belly as we go about our daily routine...

1. When are you due?  August.

2. How far along are you?  24 weeks/6 months.

3. Do you know what you're having?  A boy.

4. Do you have a name picked out? Yes. Henry Issac.

5. Is that a family name?  No.  

6. How are you feeling?  Depends on the day.  If you asked me in December I told  you that I was sick of running towards and hugging toilets for the better part of my days. If you asked me in February I toId you that I was feeling a type of exhaustion I didn't know exisited.  If you asked me in early March I told you that pregnancy migraines coupled with vomiting are highly overrated and inconvenient. However if you ask me on most days I'll tell you that I'm feeling blessed, thankful, elated and so so so excited to become a Mommy.

7. Have you decorated the nursery yet?  No.  I'm savoring the last few nights that our current guest bedroom still has a bed in it that I can make Daddy Perks go sleep in when Henry and I "need our space."

8. Do you have a theme for the nursery picked out yet?  Yes. Monkeys.

9. Are you excited about becoming a mom? Duh.

10. Can you feel the baby move yet?  Yes.  He's a kicking machine.

PERK of the Day.

Holy Pregnancy.

It's been a week since I've posted.  Already my son must think- "geesh, I guess Mommy only loves me enough to think about me once every seven days."  QUITE the contrary.  In fact, there's been so much going on in the Perks household, that I've had to put one of my favorites perks on the back burner lately-writing.  However, I'm happy to say that this weekend I should be able to get back in the groove and settle into daily posting once again.

I would spend this post giving you the typical "Fun Fruit Friday" update...however-apparently Henry is going to stay the size of a papaya for the next few weeks.  Although, I'd beg to differ-seeing as how my belly seems to be housing a watermelon these days.  And that blissful summer delicacy that we all enjoy so much (except for those pesky black seeds) has made my days of peaceful slumber long gone.  I officially spend my nights tossing and turning, longing for the perfect position in which Henry and I can coexisit in the same hemisphere and both get a little shut-eye.  And of course he wants to sleep all day and PLAY all night.  I think he may be taking in-utero karate lessons between the hours of 12 and 2 am.  

SO...since there will be no fruity update...I'll instead go old school with a PERK of the day.  Hopefully many of you will share in my excitement for this perk as we finally make the turn into what is ABSOLUTELY my favorite season.  Summer is knocking on our doorstep as we round out April and head for May.  How can you not love waking up to the sunshine and a 3-day weekend forecast of 80 degree & sunny weather?!?  The seasonally depressed should should drag themselves out of the trenches, and get out to enjoy the lovely gift the weather gods are granting us over the next few days.  I'm like a kid in a candy shop just thinking about it. 

Daddy, Henry & I have a full weekend of family, friends, and fun in store and I will be busting out a few new additions to my maternity wardroble...move over MJ's...I now also have im my possession a pair of black shorts AND dress white pants which also possess that blissful stretchy waistband that my mid-section has come to know and love so much.

How will you be spending your weekend of fun IN (or out) of the SUN?!?

Produce Update...

"Watch what you say -- baby is now able to hear outside noise from down in the womb. Studies show that baby finds gentle music and your own voice most soothing. Nipples are starting to sprout, and that little face is fully formed. And, baby's starting to settle into sleep cycles, snoozing about 12 to 14 hours a day. It shouldn't be hard to figure out when -- just pay attention to those kicks as they start and stop. "

 

Henry was DEFINITELY NOT sleeping at 1:30 a.m. last night.  In fact, I finally had to have a heart-to-heart with him about the importance of letting Mommy get some sleep. Apparently he wanted to meet in the middle...he agreed to 4 hours.  Looks like somebody is preparing me for what's to come once he arrives. 

And yes...now my kid can officially hear what I'm saying ALL THE TIME.  Does this mean I should keep my profanity filter switched on-even after I'm done teaching for the day?  Crap.

 

PS...that fruit is a papaya.

Can't. Get. Comfy.

Dear Henry,

Will you please shift slightly so that I can get some sleep?  

I love you to the moon and back a million times-even if you won't move.

xoxo,

Mommy

Mommy Perks Confession.

Okay-I'll admit it.

Daddy Perks & I have a new obsession.

Last night we stayed up WAY too late being highly entertained by investigating Henry's taste in music.  We would take Daddy Perks' iPod and lay it on my belly...playing different songs to see which would make Henry dance.  You know we were proud parents when our little monkey was kicking like CRAZY during Michael Jackson's Greatest Hits.

His favorites were: "The Way You Make Me Feel," "Black or White," and "Beat It."

What can I say-my kid has good taste in music.

What's In A Name?

It's quite possibly the most permanent thing you can give someone.

And in this case, we're not just talking about someone.  We're talking about my firstborn child.  My sweet baby BOY.  My little monkey bambino.  (It's amazing what you don't feel embarrassed to call the sweet little munchkin growing inside of you.)

And for months now Daddy Perks and I have deliberated over what would be the sweetest, coolest, smartest, wittiest, most innocent, most mischievous, most memorable, most impressionable, most lovable NAME possible for our little one. 

If you know us at all, then you know we've been extremely TIGHT-LIPPED about our name choices up to this point.  We know how opinionated people tend to be about names and we decided that since we'll be responsible for this human for roughly the next two decades, we feel entitled to name him whatever we want.  And we wanted to do so without the guilt or disappointment of knowing that you grew up with a kid named ________ and they had huge nostrils and bad acne.  Or that you went to summer camp with a girl named ________ and she was such a b*%$h.  Or that you work with a ______ and they are such a slacker.  WE DON'T CARE.  If you think I'm being harsh...please know that you'd be shocked to know just how open people are about names they love, hate and wouldn't be caught dead naming their child.  

And believe me, working in a school makes selecting a name for your child NO EASY TASK.  Names that you dreamed of as a little girl...lists you made of your top 5 girl names and your top 5 boy names...all of these go to hell once you become a teacher.  Suddenly that sweet little _____ that you thought would make the perfect name for a little girl reminds you of the spoiled little princess who's main form of communication is a high pitched whine.  And forget about naming your sweet little boy ______ because now all you can think of is that little pistol who has an inability to stay in his seat, sharpens his pencil 17 million times a day, and must pick his nose for a living.

Sigh.  Ok, I'm done venting and trying to paint the picture for the trials and tribulations new parents go through to settle on a name for their impending newborn.  With that being said...let me introduce my sweet baby boy to the online world...

 

Henry Isaac.

 

We LOVE the name Henry.  We think it's cute, classic and quite frankly...I can just picture a sweet little blonde troublemaker named Henry running around the Perks household turning our world upside down.

As for the middle name: Isaac...we chose it also because we love the way it sounds, but also because of the meaning behind it.  Isaac actually means "full of laughter."  Now, if you know Mommy and Daddy Perks at all-then you know how much we love to laugh and make others laugh.  We also hope our little one's life is always full of laughter.

SO, there you have it.  I can now start calling Baby Perks by his more official name.  It's crazy to think that Henry will be here in just over 4 months...YIKES.

Speaking of our little HIPster (yes our little one's initials our HIP)...he's kicking as we speak and I think it's his way of politely reminding Mommy that it's time to get back to work!

Baby Perks is a...

 

BOY!

 

*Stay tuned for ALL KINDS OF UPDATES...

A message for my little one.

Dear Baby Perks,

 

In a few short hours we find out if you are a boy or a girl.  Don't worry-Daddy and I promise to love you either way.

 

Love, 

Mommy

A little taste of the real thing...

I'd like to think of it as a "dry run."  

A few weeks ago two of our dearest friends in the world welcomed their sweet baby girl, Emma Elizabeth into the world.  



Isn't she gorgeous?  Daddy Perks and I are over the moon for her arrival because we have officially entered the world of surrogate aunt and uncle-hood and we couldn't be more proud.

We are also eternally grateful to our friends for giving us a taste for what we're in for come August.  Emma was born at the same hospital that Baby Perks will be delivered in.  Not only did we get a chance to learn they lay of the land, but Daddy Perks had a chance to flirt with the nurses so they'll take extra good care of us in a few months :)  All I'm saying is...if a little flirting helps me get an epidural as early as possible...flirt on Daddy Perks...flirt on. 

Judging from this picture Emma's daddy snapped of us one night when we visited in the hospital, I think it's safe to say we're sold on the idea of parenthood...

 

So MUCH to update you on...

I don't even know where to start.

 

I PROMISE to post tonight.

After all, in 14 short hours we'll know if we're having a BOY or GIRL.  And yes...we're DYING to know.