...this post contains dangerously low levels of tolerance for the male gender.
It is important that before I go on with this story, that you recall Henry's birthday: August 31st, 2009.
Ok, now we can move on. I assure you-every part of this story I'm about to tell you is true.
Begin story.
The following conversation occurred between myself and the father of a child who attends the school I work at a few weeks ago (aka in JANUARY)...
Him: "Hey! Good to see you! Hey, did you have your baby yet?"
Me: "Are you joking?" (Insert red face, complete shock, and a swift kick-in-the-gut/shins type of feeling.)
Him: "Well-I can't tell. You're sitting down."
Me: (In an effort to speak while maintaining an appropriate level of composure and professionalism while simultaneously having the desire to kill the person standing in front of me..)
"Yes, I did. I had my baby 4 1/2 (FREAKING!) months ago.
(Important to note several other teachers happened to be in the room as this conversation took place. It is perhaps pertinent to include that their faces turned red on my behalf while this conversation ensued.)
End Story.
Wow. Even re-telling this story to the blog world gets my blood boiling. (Sorry Men-I'm about to slam your gender.)
By NO means am I bragging that I have my pre-baby body back. At all. However...this same man certainly saw me hobbling around school back in MAY when I was already huge and 6 months along. Did he really think that 7 months later I could still potentially be with child? I mean honest to god-men. are. morons. Did you have your baby yet? PSHAW. He couldn't tell because I was sitting down. Was he under the impression that a woman's watermelon-like pregnant belly has the ability to re-tract into one's gut making it impossible to tell if they are pregnant or not? Had he been in a car crash recently? Or consumed some type of recreational narcotic that allowed his brain to operate without any type of sane reasoning? Had he learned nothing from his own wife on the etiquette of what one should and SHOULD NOT say to a vulnerable pregnant woman?
I came home that night and could barely get that story out before I went on a tirade to Daddy Perks. I just kept repeating what he had said..."Hey! Did you have your baby yet?"
Of course Daddy Perks found great humor in this. Me-on the other hand, a few weeks later...still fuming. In fact, I've been having to give myself internal pep talks ever since. Saying things to myself like:
"Lindsey-you've lost every bit of your pregnancy weight in just 4 months (and even a few extra pounds), you should be proud."
"Remember, the doctor complemented you on your weight loss the other day when you were in to see him for your annual gyno appointment?"
"You're a good person, with a good soul. Even if a person asked you if you were still pregnant 4 1/2 months AFTER YOU HAD YOUR BABY."
Moral of the story...
Don't think the rude and presumptuous comments stop just because you've already brought your child into the world. Oh no ladies. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
A man near you could be lurking...just waiting to strike.
Showing posts with label Baby Perks Belly Bump Alert. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baby Perks Belly Bump Alert. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Sunday, August 23, 2009
40. Weeks. Pregnant.
August 24, 2009...the DUE date.
I thought I'd give Henry all the glory he's earned for making it this far...
My sister took this belly shot tonight to officially document the fact that I WE have made it ALL 40 WEEKS.
I can hardly believe it. As a girlfriend of mine put it the other night...
"You must have a really comfy uterus."
Wow. As I type this I'm looking back up at this picture and realizing just how attractive my swollen fingers look. Just call me one HOT mama. Anyways, the bottom line is...although Henry and I have made this journey together...apparently he's the one calling the shots about exactly when he wants his birthday to be. If it had been up to me and all my lame attempts at induding labor, my little man would have been here weeks days ago. And after our doctor's appointment this past week I would have put money on the fact that he would have been here by now. But apparently he's sticking with the statistics which say that first-time mommys tend to have an average pregnancy of 40 weeks and 3 days. Now-if that's the case Henry will arrive on Thursday. BUT-we've got another doctor's appointment scheduled for Wednesday...so chances are, by that point we'll have a MUCH better idea of exactly when we can expect Henry to arrive. As I said before...my doctor promised that he won't let me go more than a week past my due date, so at the very latest...we are looking at August 31st as the BIG day.
In other news...Daddy Perks and I had another lovely baby-less weekend. We went to a baseball game on Saturday night, ran some errands today, (including what I'm hoping is our LAST trip to Babies 'R Us before the baby arrives) hit up one of our favorite lunch spots & book stores, and then enjoyed a nice steak dinner this evening with my family. My mom insisted that we play Wii bowling after dinner in an attempt to send me into labor. (Little does she know...that if the 4 AM lunges and squats I've been doing the past few nights aren't doing the trick, I doubt a few flicks of the wrists is going to be the answer to my labor prayers.) Yes you read that correctly...as far as trying to force myself into labor goes...I have tried. it. all. I mean EVERYTHING. (Thanks to each of you who left comments/suggestions on the labobr-inducing tricks that worked for you...like I said-apparently Henry's got his own agenda.)
I'm officially on maternity leave now-so until the babe arrives I'll be getting my game-face on for the big day...trying to stay busy, but also rest up and conserve my energy to make for a smooth labor/delievery.
As I reflect back on the past 40 weeks, words can't even describe how incredibly blessed I feel to be surrounded by so many loving and supportive people as Daddy Perks and I begin this new chapter in our lives. We are overwhelmed by the excitement and love we feel from so many of you in anticipation of Henry's arrival...as you can imagine, we are on the edge of our seats waiting for my water to break or for contractions to really kick into high gear.
I promise that since I'm officially done working that I'll keep you as up-to-date as I can on the minute-by-minute developments of Baby Perks' BIG Arrival.
And just so I don't get accused of not giving an official full-sized belly bump update...here's a full shot of yours truly 40. Weeks. Pregnant.
I thought I'd give Henry all the glory he's earned for making it this far...
My sister took this belly shot tonight to officially document the fact that I WE have made it ALL 40 WEEKS.
I can hardly believe it. As a girlfriend of mine put it the other night...
"You must have a really comfy uterus."
Wow. As I type this I'm looking back up at this picture and realizing just how attractive my swollen fingers look. Just call me one HOT mama. Anyways, the bottom line is...although Henry and I have made this journey together...apparently he's the one calling the shots about exactly when he wants his birthday to be. If it had been up to me and all my lame attempts at induding labor, my little man would have been here weeks days ago. And after our doctor's appointment this past week I would have put money on the fact that he would have been here by now. But apparently he's sticking with the statistics which say that first-time mommys tend to have an average pregnancy of 40 weeks and 3 days. Now-if that's the case Henry will arrive on Thursday. BUT-we've got another doctor's appointment scheduled for Wednesday...so chances are, by that point we'll have a MUCH better idea of exactly when we can expect Henry to arrive. As I said before...my doctor promised that he won't let me go more than a week past my due date, so at the very latest...we are looking at August 31st as the BIG day.
In other news...Daddy Perks and I had another lovely baby-less weekend. We went to a baseball game on Saturday night, ran some errands today, (including what I'm hoping is our LAST trip to Babies 'R Us before the baby arrives) hit up one of our favorite lunch spots & book stores, and then enjoyed a nice steak dinner this evening with my family. My mom insisted that we play Wii bowling after dinner in an attempt to send me into labor. (Little does she know...that if the 4 AM lunges and squats I've been doing the past few nights aren't doing the trick, I doubt a few flicks of the wrists is going to be the answer to my labor prayers.) Yes you read that correctly...as far as trying to force myself into labor goes...I have tried. it. all. I mean EVERYTHING. (Thanks to each of you who left comments/suggestions on the labobr-inducing tricks that worked for you...like I said-apparently Henry's got his own agenda.)
I'm officially on maternity leave now-so until the babe arrives I'll be getting my game-face on for the big day...trying to stay busy, but also rest up and conserve my energy to make for a smooth labor/delievery.
As I reflect back on the past 40 weeks, words can't even describe how incredibly blessed I feel to be surrounded by so many loving and supportive people as Daddy Perks and I begin this new chapter in our lives. We are overwhelmed by the excitement and love we feel from so many of you in anticipation of Henry's arrival...as you can imagine, we are on the edge of our seats waiting for my water to break or for contractions to really kick into high gear.
I promise that since I'm officially done working that I'll keep you as up-to-date as I can on the minute-by-minute developments of Baby Perks' BIG Arrival.
And just so I don't get accused of not giving an official full-sized belly bump update...here's a full shot of yours truly 40. Weeks. Pregnant.
Good thing the shirt I'm wearing doesn't draw ANY unwanted attention to my mid-section.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
38 1/2 Weeks...
We had our weekly appointment today. This is a direct quote from our doctor after he checked my cervix...
"Wow! He is still WAY up there."
Not exactly what my swollen ankles wanted to hear.
So there you have it...the anticlimactic Baby Perks update is that I'm 1 centimeter dialated and my baby boy has yet to start his descent towards making his entrance into the world. I have a verbal promise from our doctor that he won't let me go more than a week past our due date...so at this point the absolute longest we'll have to wait for Henry is 19 more days.
At this point I'm passing the time by trying to finish up my thank-you notes, spending quality time with Daddy Perks and our families and friends, and keeping my swollen feet up whenever I can.
Daddy Perks caught this profile shot of me last week...a vision in purple don't you think?
"Wow! He is still WAY up there."
Not exactly what my swollen ankles wanted to hear.
So there you have it...the anticlimactic Baby Perks update is that I'm 1 centimeter dialated and my baby boy has yet to start his descent towards making his entrance into the world. I have a verbal promise from our doctor that he won't let me go more than a week past our due date...so at this point the absolute longest we'll have to wait for Henry is 19 more days.
At this point I'm passing the time by trying to finish up my thank-you notes, spending quality time with Daddy Perks and our families and friends, and keeping my swollen feet up whenever I can.
Daddy Perks caught this profile shot of me last week...a vision in purple don't you think?
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
32 Weeks and counting...
Daddy Perks caught this shot of me as we left the house tonight to grab a bite to eat...
It's hard to believe we're a mere 8 weeks away from welcoming our little one into the world. Lots has been going on in the Perks household these days as we prepare for the arrival of Henry. Speaking of that little monkey...he is quite pleased with the fact that he recently located his mommy's ribs and BOY DOES HE LOVE to kick them. I've read that I've reached the point in my pregnancy where Henry will start to settle into the position he'll need to be in for labor. This means his feeet should be up by my ribs and his head should be down by the place where Henry will make his grand entrance into the world.
As Henry grows, Daddy Perks continues to humor himself by stating belly analogies such as... "Henry's upgraded from studio apartment to a 3 bedroom home lately." It's true-with each passing day my belly seems to grow outward just a little bit more, BUT I'm pleased to announce that my belly button is still a 100% INNY! Every morning I wake up and hesitantly cascade my hand over Henry's home to see if there's been a status change in the belly button department. For whatever reason, I'm somewhat fearful of the day that I give my belly a rub and discover a mini bump on my big bump. I'll certainly keep you posted if there are any new developments.
Other than that...not too much to share. We seem to be making lots of lists these days. Even our lists have lists. There seems to be an endless amount of things to do so that we are as prepared as possible for the big day. Speaking of preparation...we are enrolled to take our childbirth class this coming Monday. This will consist of 4 fun-filled hours of everything we ever wanted to know about the anatomy and physiology of birth, medical options, and procedures for childbirth with an emphasis on labor and birth with an epidural.
So I'm SURE we'll have stories to share after this exciting adventure...stay tuned for Mommy & Daddy Perks' reactions to "how a baby comes out."
It's hard to believe we're a mere 8 weeks away from welcoming our little one into the world. Lots has been going on in the Perks household these days as we prepare for the arrival of Henry. Speaking of that little monkey...he is quite pleased with the fact that he recently located his mommy's ribs and BOY DOES HE LOVE to kick them. I've read that I've reached the point in my pregnancy where Henry will start to settle into the position he'll need to be in for labor. This means his feeet should be up by my ribs and his head should be down by the place where Henry will make his grand entrance into the world.
As Henry grows, Daddy Perks continues to humor himself by stating belly analogies such as... "Henry's upgraded from studio apartment to a 3 bedroom home lately." It's true-with each passing day my belly seems to grow outward just a little bit more, BUT I'm pleased to announce that my belly button is still a 100% INNY! Every morning I wake up and hesitantly cascade my hand over Henry's home to see if there's been a status change in the belly button department. For whatever reason, I'm somewhat fearful of the day that I give my belly a rub and discover a mini bump on my big bump. I'll certainly keep you posted if there are any new developments.
Other than that...not too much to share. We seem to be making lots of lists these days. Even our lists have lists. There seems to be an endless amount of things to do so that we are as prepared as possible for the big day. Speaking of preparation...we are enrolled to take our childbirth class this coming Monday. This will consist of 4 fun-filled hours of everything we ever wanted to know about the anatomy and physiology of birth, medical options, and procedures for childbirth with an emphasis on labor and birth with an epidural.
So I'm SURE we'll have stories to share after this exciting adventure...stay tuned for Mommy & Daddy Perks' reactions to "how a baby comes out."
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Birthdays + Showers=Happy Perks!
So. Much. To. Say.
So. Little. Time.
Bottome line...this is a HUGE weekend for Daddy, Mama & Henry Perks.
Yesterday I turned the big 2-6. Shhhhhh. I'm trying not to make a big deal of the fact that I've officially entered into a new quarter century of my life. Anyways...a quick run-down of the day:
I spent the day and night celebrating with friends and family. Daddy Perks took me to lunch. We ate on the patio at BW3's where I indulged in some delicious boneless wings and a tasty lemonade...enjoying the spectacular weather and my lovely hubby. We then sauntered over to Coldstone Cremery AKA "God's proof that he loves the world" and I indulged in my favorite ice cream combo: Cake Batter with Strawberries. I was entirely too full to even eat ice cream after the wings but I believe on your birthday one should overindulge for 24 hours straight.
After work we met some of my nearest and dearest at my favorite local mexican hot spot for some delicious chips and salsa and cheezy goodness. I spent the night enjoying the fact that birthdays are just a great excuse to make all the people I love come together to eat my favorite food.
And while the gathering itself was a fabulous enough, my dear friends and family also spoiled me with presents. I was lucky enough to acquire a few gift certificates so I can march my pregnant hiney over to the spa to have a few pregnancy massages AND finally tend to my very-much-neglected-non-pedicured toes. Anyone who knows me knows what a sucker I am for massages and pedicures so these gifts were almost enough to make me shed hormonal- imbalance pregnancy tears. Spa-visiting Mama Perks=pure bliss.
Here's a shot of Henry on his way out to celebrate his Mommy's birthday...
As if the birthday celebration last night wasn't enough...today the fun continues! Henry & I will spend the day being showered with gifts at a baby shower being hosted for us by mine and Daddy Perks' moms...or as we've come to refer to them in the past few months...Nana Shubs & Mimi Pat. We decided that when you reach "grandmother status" one should be able to decide what their grandchild should call them and these are the names which our moms have come up with. Now whether or not Henry takes to actually referring to his grandmas this way...only time will tell.
Anyways...I'll make sure to take LOTS of pictures of today's festivities and report back ASAP.
PS...Little Henry's rooms is coming along splendidly. The crib AND dresser/changing table are put together and his room is waiting to be filled with all kinds of goodies from today's shower. In fact, the gifts have already started rolling in! The UPS man must have made a mental note that somebody's having a baby at our house because he stopped here 3 times this week to deliver packages from Babies 'R Us! Perhaps I should leave a plate of warm cookies for him in anticipation of his impending visits?
So. Little. Time.
Bottome line...this is a HUGE weekend for Daddy, Mama & Henry Perks.
Yesterday I turned the big 2-6. Shhhhhh. I'm trying not to make a big deal of the fact that I've officially entered into a new quarter century of my life. Anyways...a quick run-down of the day:
I spent the day and night celebrating with friends and family. Daddy Perks took me to lunch. We ate on the patio at BW3's where I indulged in some delicious boneless wings and a tasty lemonade...enjoying the spectacular weather and my lovely hubby. We then sauntered over to Coldstone Cremery AKA "God's proof that he loves the world" and I indulged in my favorite ice cream combo: Cake Batter with Strawberries. I was entirely too full to even eat ice cream after the wings but I believe on your birthday one should overindulge for 24 hours straight.
After work we met some of my nearest and dearest at my favorite local mexican hot spot for some delicious chips and salsa and cheezy goodness. I spent the night enjoying the fact that birthdays are just a great excuse to make all the people I love come together to eat my favorite food.
And while the gathering itself was a fabulous enough, my dear friends and family also spoiled me with presents. I was lucky enough to acquire a few gift certificates so I can march my pregnant hiney over to the spa to have a few pregnancy massages AND finally tend to my very-much-neglected-non-pedicured toes. Anyone who knows me knows what a sucker I am for massages and pedicures so these gifts were almost enough to make me shed hormonal- imbalance pregnancy tears. Spa-visiting Mama Perks=pure bliss.
Here's a shot of Henry on his way out to celebrate his Mommy's birthday...
(Baby Perks informed me via baby kicking morse code that he's sick of sharing the spotlight with his Mama in photos...)
As if the birthday celebration last night wasn't enough...today the fun continues! Henry & I will spend the day being showered with gifts at a baby shower being hosted for us by mine and Daddy Perks' moms...or as we've come to refer to them in the past few months...Nana Shubs & Mimi Pat. We decided that when you reach "grandmother status" one should be able to decide what their grandchild should call them and these are the names which our moms have come up with. Now whether or not Henry takes to actually referring to his grandmas this way...only time will tell.
Anyways...I'll make sure to take LOTS of pictures of today's festivities and report back ASAP.
PS...Little Henry's rooms is coming along splendidly. The crib AND dresser/changing table are put together and his room is waiting to be filled with all kinds of goodies from today's shower. In fact, the gifts have already started rolling in! The UPS man must have made a mental note that somebody's having a baby at our house because he stopped here 3 times this week to deliver packages from Babies 'R Us! Perhaps I should leave a plate of warm cookies for him in anticipation of his impending visits?
Saturday, May 23, 2009
So long 2nd Trimester...
Hello 3rd (AND FINAL) trimester!
Mommy Perks @ 28 weeks...
Oh my goodness. As I look at this picture I am realizing just how delusional a pregnant woman can be. Why you ask? BECAUSE when I wore this lovely green dress out the other night, I had the audacity to ask my sweet husband...
"Honey? Do you think people can tell I'm pregnant in this dress?"
Ha. Ha. Ha.
I'm sure y'all can assume what his answer was. And FYI...Daddy Perks is REALLY GOOD at answering those tricky pregnancy questions I'm constantly asking him to keep his very-pregnant-wife feeling good about herself. Whenever I mention that I'm feeling not-cute, or that my clothes no longer look good on me, or that I feel like I'm related to a beached whale, my husband always has the perfect response to drag me out of the trenches. He's constantly telling me how beautiful I look, how amazing it is that I'm carrying our son, and how I can still rock a grey t-shirt...even if it looks like I'm storing a basketball underneath it.
Here's the god's honest truth. It's not all glitz and glam ladies.
You may spend your days getting smiled at by lots of strangers, having your co-workers rub your belly adoringly, and one fabulous hubby who makes you feel like a Victoria's Secret runway model when he sees you in your underwear...but I'll let you in on a little secret.
Shhhhhhhhhhhh-are you nice and close so I can whisper?
You. still. have. fat. days.
Days where you wake up, drag yourself over to the closet, look at the clothes on the hanger, and quickly run back into bed hoping it was all just a nightmare dream that all your pants/shorts have nearly a foot of stretchy material just to ensure they'll fit over your growing mid-section.
Days where you think-is it possible for me to avoid catching a profile shot of myself in a mirror? (IMPOSSIBLE because that would mean you'd have to avoid all bathrooms which means you'd have to have some type of control over your bladder.) Believe me when I say, I was out to dinner last night and used the restroom twice before the meal, twice during, and THREE TIMES after the meal before we left the restaurant. I mean seriously...that's got to be competition for the guiness book of world records.
Days where you just plain miss slipping on your skinny jeans.
Now-don't get me wrong. I have truly loved being pregnant. And believe me when I say...giving up control over my body's expansion is totally worth the end result. It's just that every once in a while, even a pregnant gal needs to vent about having a not-so-skinny day.
In other news...summer is offically here, and the Perks household finally broke down and turned the AC on the other night. Stay tuned for details on why Daddy Perks decided a higher electric bill was definitely worth a cool* pregnant wife.
*Cool=cold temperature.
(Daddy Perks doesn't have to pay money to have the coolest* wife in town.)
*Coolest=smart, witty, beautiful, fun-to-be-around, hilarious...you get the idea.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Belly Perks...
As promised...here's the first offical cyberworld picture of Baby Perks...
[caption id="attachment_68" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="14 weeks!"]
[/caption]And yes-those are my magical super stetchy maternity jeans. And no-I don't intend to stop wearing high heels just because I'm pregnant. With an ever-expanding belly, I need all the height and fabulous accessories (aka hot pink pumps) I can get!
Oh the joy of not having to suck in for the next 6 months. It's just the little things perks :) Happy Monday y'all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)